Posted on January 22, 2010 - by Jamie Wamsley
“If a man harbors any sort of fear, it percolates through all his thinking, damages his personality, makes him landlord to a ghost.” – Lloyd Cassel Douglas
Man, sometimes I allow myself to get in a bad way.
Something – typically, a very small thing – will get me discouraged. A day, maybe two, slips by and as much as I attempt to smother it, trample it, rip it out – the root sometimes remains.
Like a killer weed, it returns again and again – growing deeper, spreading father, threatening to overtake my mind.
I know that if I can’t kill the weed, if I can’t clear the field – then something very significant is at stake.
I lose confidence. I lose hope. I lose the capacity to enjoy the things that I love. I find myself gripped by an irrational fear.
Of the future? Of my own inadequacies? Maybe that I’m unloved, uncared for, disrespected, worthless, insignificant or any of a million other different emotions – none of which have any real basis in reality?
For me, discouragement is a deadly evil – an anchor that will drag my soul down into the depths of despondency, depression and despair.
It is into this mess of myself that I need Jesus to become real, to enter into my life in a tangible way and change my outlook. Change my perspective. Change me.
He says this in John 14:27; “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”
I really, truly, genuinely, desperately want that.
I want the peace of God – the kind that transcends all understanding.
And I want it in a big way – I want to be overcome by it. I want it to crash over me like monstrous ocean wave. I want it to crush me beneath its weight and pin me to the floor so that I never escape.
I want to drown in God’s peace.
The challenge is that his peace seems to come a bit at a time.
A bit when I remember my worst case scenario – regardless of what else happens, I can look forward to a joy-filled eternity with God where this life is nothing but a distant memory.
A bit when I remember that God does actually care about my life; his strength, his wisdom, his love are all available to help me into the life he created me to have.
A bit when I remember to actually talk to God – to just say them out loud so that they lose their power, to feel heard by him, to know that he is close.
And a bit when I gain his perspective – and realize that most of these things will be a distant memory by next Tuesday.
God, give me enough ‘bits’ to bring the peace I so desperately need.
God, bring me your peace. There are days – like today – when I really need it. Help me to feel your presence close to me, help me to stand with your strength and to see with your eyes. Help me to have hope – and to believe that with your help, today’s problems will soon be a distant memory. Thank you, Jesus. I believe that you will. Amen.
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